I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
