when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
