oh god the rape fog is back!
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
