do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
