I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
