kristin has been a bad kristin
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
