Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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