there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
