just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
A bitchslap is in order.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
