The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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