last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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