i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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