You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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