But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
