What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
My life is pants optional.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
