So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
