yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Maybe he injected his testicle?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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