when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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