My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
