he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Im part way to drunk.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
