U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
