i barfeds in our rink
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
she peed on how many people?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
