I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
she pinky promised me she was 18
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
