You don't have asthma, your pregnant
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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