goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
