everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
