i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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