Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
