UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
