Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
