No stitches, just platelets and will power
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
