dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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