There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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