I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
