Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
