I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
