I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
