Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just had sex on a roof
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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