READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
