Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
