i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
