Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
