All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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