He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
