I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
