If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
