I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
