The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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