He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
