on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
