He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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